Count your blessings

After the birth of Mr Miracle, I developed a chronic inflammatory disease that gives me a fair amount of grief, on most days. Just recently I liked a support group for it on Facebook because, you know, I like support and no one ever understands what you're dealing with until they've been through it themselves. I was hoping to get some advice on possible treatments and an insight into the positive ways other people deal with chronic pain. Instead I got more grief than I could handle. Lots of people chronicling their symptoms and 'woe is me-ing'. It made me feel worse rather than better so I unliked the page and left all those poor people to wallow in their own misery.

What the experience with the page did do was remind me that the best way to look forward is to count your blessings and feel positive about the future. So with that in mind I'm counting down my blessings for the Old Year before looking forward to the possibilities and adventures of the 2014.

10 Favourite Photos from 2013

Taking photos is one of my favourite things but due to some equipment breakdowns and accidents I haven't done enough of it this year. Thanks to the beautiful new lens Geoff gave me for Christmas, I'm getting back to my 365 next year.

Best photo bomb

9 Happenings that gave me Great Joy

• The phone call - see number 1 below ;-)
• Sophie's graduation
• Anna & Andrew's wedding celebration. One of my dearest friends got married. I love that she is loved.   
• We went to Dunedin and caught up with my amazing sister in law Kasey & multi talented niece Erica. Their house always feels like home.
• North Warrnambool Eagles won the A Grade netball premiership after just clawing their way into the top 5. I've watched the Hampden GF for 20 years. It was so much fun to have my girls playing and to be part of a fairytale sporting outcome.
• Taine's school report - excellent behavior and attitude in EVERYTHING.
• Mitchell Wills got a place in his chosen Performing Arts course. I'm so proud of him for following his dream.
• Sara Bolch got a fabulous ATAR (along with countless other well deserved accolades). Proof that hard work pays and resilience is rewarded.
• Geoff and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary - that's 12.5 more years than most people predicted when we got married ;-) This man has changed my life in so many positive ways.

8 Awesome Travel Moments

• New Years Day at the Grand Canyon
• Disneyland ( I didn't really like Disneyland but it was awesome to find that out!)
• Cycling around Strahan, Tas.
• Snorkelling on the GBR
• Finally getting some good friends to NZ with us and staying in a magnificent apartment in Queenstown, overlooking the Remarkables and Lake Wakitipu.
• The Lawrence Daffodil Festival - what a bizarre stumble upon.
• Cruising down the Gordon River.
• Climbing the Stanley Nut.

7 Things that Improved My Life

• A king sized bed. Should have bought one 30 years ago. 
• Kerry Boyden - colleague, neighbour, friend. She's had my back all year.
• The decision to save and spend on plane tickets and to take every travel opportunity we could. Our bank account is empty but my bucket list is looking more achievable as a result.
• Finally working out that you can't change the way people think (even when they are clearly wrong and you want better for them!). This helped me survive the election and several other whacko decisions that people I like have made this year.
• I exchanged fried food for red wine = life balance.
• Dr De Toit managed to unfreeze my shoulder after many of his colleagues had (expensively and painfully) failed.
• We bought a new car. Spending money is just an emotional hurdle and well worth the luxury of leg room and good suspension!

6 - Favourite TV series on the iPad. 

This category replaces what should be 'Favourite books' but this year I discovered the relief of filling my insomniac nights with video pulp fiction. I promise to get back to the printed word next year.

• Friday Night Lights-  I watched 5 whole seasons, one after the other. I was starting to channel Tammy Taylor and my heart still pines for Tim Riggins. I can’t believe they actually called it quits on the series and I'll never know what happened to them all.
• Game of Thrones – all the way from King's Landing to the Red Wedding and suddenly Jon Snow was competing for a place in my heart with Tim! Can’t wait for series 4.
• Downton Abbey – Oh how I cried when Sybil died. Seriously, this show made me think about the whole concept of social class and how much it still exists. And how ridiculous, pretentious and obnoxious it is.
• Broadchurch – I don’t usually like murder mysteries but this was a beauty. I should have seen the end coming but I didn’t.
• The Time of Our Lives - Made in Melbourne and every character is identifiable with someone I know.
• Orange is the New Black – this one will see me into the new year.

5 - Personal achievements

• I was the Acting Principal for nearly a term and I survived and so did the school. While I learnt that I was capable of doing the job, I also gained enormous respect for my boss. Running a school is a complicated, 24/7, mostly thankless job. The experience also reiterated for me that I don’t want to be a Principal. You just don't get enough time to spend with kids.
• I managed (just barely) to maintain this blog. Since I can't be a vampire I'm really passionate about immortalising my thoughts by laying down a digital record of my existence. I'm not sure if it's an egotistical thing or a fear of being forgotten thing. Whatever, I like the idea that my great grandchildren might find a record of this some day.
• Following on from the previous point, my post about skin cancer was read online by 1600 people and published in three newspapers. I was overwhelmed and gratified by the feedback I got from so many sources and I'm proud that people have told me they'll be more careful with their kids' skin now.
• I learnt the Cup Song - harder than you think for the rhythmically challenged
• I presented at two face to face conferences and three online. I'm terrified by public speaking but I feel great once it's done!

4 - Firsts

• We ate plums from our own tree.
• Taine joined the cricket team, swam 50 metres and kicked a goal in footy 
• I went snorkeling 
• I completed my first fun run. Actually, it was just a brisk walk but I got up very early to do it, I made the whole distance and I wasn't last.

                                  

3 - Group successes

• I coached the Deakin Sharks U/13s this year and they didn’t win a single game. Nor did they ever give up. Not once. They had fun and I had fun. They listened and trained hard and improved every single week. The U/13 team is indicative of the whole club. Lots of great volunteers working hard to provide local sporting opportunities for our kids. Bring on the shuffles in 2014!
• The cast and crew of Oliver. What a great show. I’m always blown away by the learning that happens through a school production. I’m also staggered by the voluntary effort put in by the staff production team. This year was no exception. I’m blessed to work with such amazing kids, staff and parents. Lyle Russell must never retire!
• The student leadership kids at school were fantastic this year. Their biggest coup; running a school formal. It takes real guts to not only lead but to be the first followers so kudos to Stacey and Charm and Brad for getting the event off the ground and good on you to the kids who bravely turned up and had a great, drug and alcohol free good time.

2 - Best Pieces of Feedback. 

• From a student - "Please don't die before I get married because I really want you to be at my wedding!' - We'll do our best & you can write those place cards in ink ;-) 
• From a parent - 'Thank you for saving my child's life'. Sometimes we make more of a difference than just teaching a kid to read and it's a wonderful feeling to know that and to be acknowledged for it.

1 - Very Best Phone Call 

• 'Mum, I'm pregnant………with twins!'

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE

Tis the season

And so, this is Christmas….. And hasn't it come around quickly this year?!

Religion doesn't play a major role in our family but we observe Christmas as a period of good will and family celebration. It's a scheduled opportunity to take stock, give thanks and celebrate the privilege of being alive. Whatever your beliefs, I think there is a magic that surrounds the season and I swear I've seen lights in the sky on Christmas Eve that could only belong to a sleigh.

Luckily, my children have inherited the Christmas passion that I inherited from my mother. Regular readers of my blog know that I lost my Mum many years ago but Christmas is one of those times that makes me feel close to her. In fact, Mum died on Christmas Eve and lots of people question how I can still enjoy the holiday so much when it's the anniversary of her death. It's easy really. Mum was such a great fan of Christmas that I see it as a celebration of her life, not her death. After being given a final, terminal diagnosis in November she decided Christmas Eve was the time to go because she'd read some cockamamie story somewhere  that the leprechauns had struck a deal that anyone who died between midnight and dawn on Christmas Eve got a free pass to heaven. I guess morphine can do strange things to people but Mum was never one to let facts stand in the way of a good story and she liked to hedge her bets on the whole heaven & hell thing, so Christmas Eve it was.

Given the doctor's prognosis of 2 weeks after an appointment in November, I wasn't so confident that she'd make Christmas Eve so we held Christmas early that year, on December 1st. Mum's rule about the tree going up was strictly Dec 15th ( I can't remember why) so we had to fudge the truth a bit.  We had a great celebration with some close friends, we opened all the presents and sat round her bed (in the lounge room) telling stories & listening to Jaime sing several renditions of Rudolph. The next day Mum slipped into a coma and didn't really regain consciousness until Christmas Eve. On that day, she suddenly sat upright in bed and demanded that I open and drink the bottle of Moet that the district nurse had left her. We had what would be our last conversation while we listened to the Myer Christmas Carols. She put down the glass, went to sleep and never woke up again.

Anyway, I digress. Ever since Mum died, Dec 1 has marked beginning of the Christmas season for me  and I'm glad and grateful that my family support my need to maintain the tradition and ritual that keeps me anchored to my childhood. Not only do my children respect my OCD order of things, so does my husband. If there's one piece of advice I would give to any girl, it's find a man who loves Christmas. If you've found yourself with a Humbug (or one who tells you Valentine's Day is a commercial joke), get rid of him.

It took me a long time to give up the 'real' tree. Christmas tree hunting was one of the more hilarious but also stressful features of my obsession. The tree had to be 'just right'. Not too short, not too tall and definitely not too skinny! When we moved into our new house though, the thought of all those dead pine needles was too much for me so we bought a spectacular fake fir. It's just the right size and it stays green for the entire month that it's allowed to reside in the lounge room but it has to be put up PROPERLY! The lights go on first and then the ornaments, in order.

First, Grandma's ornament. Clearly I was in the midst of grief when I bought it because it's a naff pink rosy thing that Mum would have hated. Nevertheless, I pack it in tissue paper every year & then tuck it into the tree somewhere where the lights will reflect on it.

Next, special ornaments that the kids have collected over the years. This year, lots of special ornaments that made their way home with us from our big trip last year. Elvis dressed in Christmas colors from Memphis, Santa holding the Statue of Liberty, turtles with our names on them from Key West and a Boston Celtics baseball ornament from the Quincy market. Shells in a glass ball from Santa Monica, Minnie Mouse from Disneyland, the official 2012 edition ornament from the White House and a Navajo indian ornament from the Grand Canyon. More hedging my religious bets with a beautiful wooden cross from the church in Sedona, a handmade owl from a shop in Natchez that was so deep in the South that the shop assistant referred to her boss as 'Miss Emily'. And my personal favourite, one that reminds me that Christmas crosses racial boundaries, a black Santa riding in a sleigh pulled by alligators from the Everglades.

It was odd being away from home last year. Amazing, but odd. I don't want to sound at all ungrateful about spending Christmas Eve watching the snow fall in New York because it was amazing but I am glad to be home with my own traditions this year.

Last but not least, on top of the tree goes a pretty ordinary looking paper angel that Sophie colored in at school the year that Geoff first joined our family. It was a symbol of our new family unit and so it maintains its superior position over all the glitz and glamour below it. By the time all that goes on, I have drunk at least one glass of champagne & we've played some sort of irreverent Christmas Carol from the Simpson's Christmas CD.

Then the present buying begins. I am totally unashamed of the over indulgence that is the pile of presents under our tree. We're not usually extravagant people but Christmas is different. We love buying each other stuff and there are no rules, except that everyone gets about the same amount of parcels because it makes the unwrapping process more fun. It doesn't matter how old you are, Santa brings everyone a sack full of things to wear, things to eat, things to read and rubbish to play with. Online shopping has played right into my compulsive Christmas shopping addiction because its so easy to order bits and pieces in the lead up. By the time the parcels arrive I've often forgotten what I bought and so it's like a double Christmas surprise - for me and the recipient. Then of course there's the sorting and wrapping and more buying because inevitably I've got sidetracked with things that one of the kids will really like and left someone else's pile a bit short. Then, (every year) about a week before Christmas I suffer from over indulgence phobia and take a few things out and tuck them away for birthdays, only to change my mind on Christmas Eve and put them back in again!

Giving to strangers is a relatively new tradition in our family but it's a growing one. Last year in New York Taine elected to spend his Christmas money in $1 bills, giving them away to homeless people in the Subway. The genuine gratitude from people for the price of a coffee was a humbling one for all of us. This year we've concentrated on online donations, the Wishing Tree and a couple of Secret Santa drops. There's a lot of joy in anonymity.

Jaime and Xavier and Sophie arrive in time for a late dinner on Christmas Eve and we take our annual photo in front of the tree. This takes some work because from one year to the next we forget how to use the self timer. Everyone yells at Sophie because she insists on putting lipstick on first, then Sophie yells at everyone else because we aren't sitting in THE RIGHT ORDER. Then Taine ruins Christmas by jumping up before the timer goes!

The Santa sacks go on the chairs in the lounge room. NO ONE is allowed to open ANY presents before 7am when I am sitting in my chair with a cup of coffee beside me. We'll eat bacon and scrambled eggs and croissants for breakfast, served in my grandmother's Royal Doulton warming bowls that only come out on Christmas Day. The girls will go out to the farm for lunch and Geoff and Taine and I will have a ham sandwich picnic. Tomorrow night we'll share with our co grandparents- to- be and Xavier's extended family. We'll take along one of our Christmas traditions ( the super enhanced bon bons) to join our traditions with theirs.

This year of course, given that the eldest child is heavy with child(ren), Christmas is especially significant. Christmas is a celebration and promise of new life and ours is about to be doubly blessed. I can't believe my baby is about to have babies of her own and I can't wait. With the new additions, our lives will cross into a new phase but Christmas will always be Christmas and a way to connect past generations with the future.

Like thousands of other Victorians, we've watched the Myer Music Bowl carols tonight , we've left some carrots on the deck for the reindeer and some shortbread and some water for Santa (with a side serve of red wine for the elves) on the kitchen bench. We've done a quick Secret Santa run and now the house is quiet and brimming with anticipation. The sky is full of stars and I swear if you look closely enough you'll spot the lights of Santa's sleigh. I'm off to enjoy the sort of sleep that only ever happens when all of my precious children are tucked into beds in my house.

Happy Christmas to all of You and Yours from Me and Mine :-)

100 Lyme Light Keepers for Sheridan

There's nothing like Christmas for reflecting on just how lucky you are to have a happy, healthy family. I look forward to Christmas Day because it's one of the few times I have my three kids all under the one roof & I can see for myself that they're all OK.

There's also nothing like Christmas for realizing not everyone is as lucky as you are and that your luck and your life can change in a millisecond. It's also, if you're anything like me, a time when you really feel like giving back to the world in some way. Contributing to someone less well off than yourself is one way of counting your lucky stars and hoping that karma will pay back to you when you need it most.

I work with lots of lovely people and Vicki Jones is one of them. She's an invaluable member of our Education Support Staff and she works in the Home Eco room, preparing for classes by doing the shopping and collating the ingredients; helping the students with their cooking and then when everyone else has eaten and gone, she gets to clean up behind them. More importantly though, she's a mentor to many of our kids, especially the troubled ones. She talks while they cook, she encourages and cajoles. She praises and scolds when necessary and she has made an amazing difference to the literacy and the confidence of countless numbers of young people. Vicki is also one of the most positive people I've ever met. She wears pretty tops and bright lipstick and she always has a smile on her face.

That smile is the smile of a true professional because beneath it Vicki has been facing an unbelievable challenge over the last 18 months.

Vicki's daughter Sheridan, (pictured with Vicki in the photo above), turns just 26 today. At the beginning of 2012, Sheridan suddenly felt very tired and fatigued and strangely, her handwriting became messy. The initial diagnosis was a vertigo type illness and possibly carpal tunnel syndrome. She was advised that some Bowen therapy should soon see her right. Unfortunately, she began to experience other symptoms including loss of feeling and function in one leg. A barrage of MRIs, CT scans and blood tests pointed to a devastating diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. Having clearly inherited her Mum's positive outlook, Sheridan tried to slow the progress of the disease with pilates and physio and water aerobics and speech therapy but to no avail. The symptoms worsened quickly and she was no longer able to work. Further tests indicated that perhaps it wasn't MS but a rare condition called Spinocerebellar Ataxia, for which there is no cure.

I can't fathom how a family copes with devastating news like that :-( and as the months went by it just got worse. Sheridan's speech deteriorated, she had difficulty swallowing and had to give up driving. The diagnosis changed yet again to another obscure and incurable disease before discovering from DNA tests that this was also incorrect.

By July this year she was confined to a wheelchair and her future looked very bleak. Then, a chance encounter with a doctor in Western Australia uncovered the real cause of her symptoms ; LYME disease. In late 2011, Sheridan had been camping in the bush and on her return had found and removed a tick from a friend who had been with her. Sheridan hadn't found one on herself but in hindsight, she must have been bitten. Many of you will have seen the 'Today Tonight' stories on Lyme Disease during the last year. Like me you probably half listened to the tragic stories of victims of this disease that officially doesn't exist in Australia! It's an insidious bacteria that mimics the symptoms of many other debilitating diseases and is therefore very hard to identify.

Hard as it is to diagnose, it's even harder to treat and will involve high dosages of antibiotics and other medications for many years. Sheridan will have to follow a completely organic diet; gluten, sugar, dairy and yeast free. Her doctor is in Western Australia and to get the best treatment she may have to go overseas. And because, despite many people having been accurately diagnosed with Lymes, it is still not officially recognized as existing in Australia, there is no funding for the treatment!

Sheridan's family and friends have worked out that the overwhelming figure of $50 000 needed for her treatment can be broken down into a more manageable 100 lots of $500, hence the title 100 Lyme Light Keepers and they have started a Facebook page to gather support for their fundraising effort.

It's no secret that I love the internet and I believe very strongly in the power of social media to change the world in a positive way. I have 398 Facebook friends. If everyone of them donated just $1 to this cause then we'd almost cover one of those $500 lots on our own. If everyone donated $5 then we'd cover 4 lots! (For the record, I did that calculating all by myself ;-) If everyone on my Facebook list shared this story with their friends and some of them donated a dollar too, imagine how quickly we could make a difference for Sheridan and her family.

Of all the money you spend this Christmas, this could be the most satisfying.

Donating is simple. Just bank transfer your dollar, or five or ten to

BSB: 083-617

ACC: 395 357 425 with your full name as the reference.

Or you can write a cheque (do people still do that these days?) and make it out to 'Sheddies Light on LYMES' and post it to P.O BOX 179 Mortlake, Vic, 3272

Woorndoo Primary School - sweet memories.

The local Historical Society updated their Facebook page with this photo yesterday and it transported me 30+ years back in time to when I was teaching at Woorndoo Primary School. I taught at the school twice, once when it was a two teacher school and again when I was the Head Teacher (and only teacher!)

I found a photo of myself and the kids the year I went solo. Geoff challenged me to remember their names and I did it easily. In fact with all but one little fellow, the names rolled off my tongue as if I was back there doing the morning roll call. Shelley and Kerry Bourchier, Kylie and Narelle Milward, Simon …and his little brother Coulter, Megan and Prue Wentworth, Jason and Jodie Hill, Kate and David Mudford, Ricky-Russell the Keilor twins and a single Jervies' child, Bruce. I remember these kids (as I do most of the kids I've taught), so well that I could probably recall their reading scores and favourite stories if I tried.

At 24, with 3 yrs teaching experience, I was responsible for planning, teaching and assessing the entire curriculum for all 15 kids spread over 7 grades from Prep to Yr 6. There were no specialist classes and no planning time for me. Mind you, there were no staff meetings to worry about either 😉 I bought all the supplies, paid all the bills, balanced the books, administered first aid and supervised every recess and lunchtime. On the days when Bruce's mum didn't come to clean, I did that as well. I had complete autonomy over everything. I even got to choose the wall paint colors and I did the contrasting trim myself in my spare time. Actually, this was probably a bad thing because I was going through an 'autumn tonings' phase at the time and in retrospect the peach and russet together made a pretty nauseating combination.

There was no need for behaviour reports or time out rooms because no one misbehaved. In fact the only behaviour problem I had was that, having been given the responsibility of ringing the bell, Kate  took the job so seriously that on the (rare) occasion that I wanted a second cup of tea or had to make a phone call, she got very upset if I asked her to let recess go for just a wee bit longer.

Bullying was unheard of. With so few kids you couldn't afford to be off side with anyone. I don't know how the kids picked teams for cricket but I know they shared Kylie because she was better than everyone else! Luckily she was also the best sport I've ever taught and she always made sure the little ones got an extra bat.

In the mornings we spent 15 minutes (or 50 depending on how much fun we were having) doing compulsory exercise. To this day I blame my frozen shoulder on the fact that I tried to outlast the kids in outstretched arm rolls. We skipped rope and hula hooped - I remember that little Narelle in Yr 1 could hula hoop all day if we let her. She could also read anything you put in front of her and write stories that would put my current Yr 9s to shame, which is probably why she's called Dr Milward now!

Many times in the ensuing years I've chuckled (or sighed) to myself when parents question the idea of composite classes or vertical groupings. This was the ultimate in vertical grouping and it worked like a charm. Every child worked at their own level. It was all about 'stage' not 'age'. Even then I abhorred one size, fits all text books and with my trusty Gestetner duplicator, (oh how I miss the smell of duplicating fluid in the mornings!), and a box of colored chalk, I designed all my own work sheets and filled the blackboard with hand writing patterns and maths puzzles. While I taught one group, the others would work at their own task, at the same time absorbing everything I said to the teaching group. Just as I do now, I expected every child to work beyond their perceived potential and mostly, that's exactly what they did. The little ones learnt from their older role models and the big kids took their responsibilities vey seriously.

Despite my youth and inexperience, it was accepted that I was in charge and I was given the utmost respect from the children and their parents. I was an integral part of the community and I was nurtured and cared for, just as I nurtured and cared for their children. Many days I would know it was lunch time from the smell of homemade chips or scones being bought across to me from Maureen Hill next door. I was never short of cake for afternoon tea and Roma Keilor's apple & quince jelly kept my breakfast toast covered all year. If something broke (or my car had a flat tyre) I only had to pick up the phone and one of the dads would come and fix it for me.

We had a rickety gas heater in the top classroom but there were no fans or air conditioning so when it got really hot in Summer I used to fill a wading pool with water, then we'd all put on our bathers and sit in it while I read to the kids. Or we'd fill up mine and some parents' cars and head off 15 miles up the road to Lake Bolac where we could use the real swimming pool for lessons. Inevitably, I would spend the whole lesson trying to keep the twins from drowning- they had no buoyancy due to their complete lack of body fat! To this day they are the only kids I haven't been able to teach to swim.

Science and Nature Study lessons meant a walk down to the creek to look for tadpoles or collect specimens for our Botany books. One year we collected hundreds of taddies and put them in a tank in the downstairs classroom. I forgot about them over the September holidays and came back to find the whole place hopping with frogs!

The District Inspector came twice a year to check that I had everything under control. He checked my accounting (unbelievably I was never a cent out) and tested the children on their spelling, times tables and hand writing! I had to present all my courses of study and my weekly work program. He'd sign off on those, wish me well, and disappear until next time. The only time I ever looked like being in strife was when he rang unexpectedly one day while we were all out playing playing hide and seek. One of the Bourchier kids answered the phone and when he asked for me she said, 'I'm sorry but she's up a tree somewhere and we can't find her!' I was indeed up a tree, one that had a magnificent, panoramic view of the playground so I could keep an eye on everyone but still eat my lunch in peace.

At Christmas time we put on a concert. It was an awesome, community occasion and the start of my love for and understanding of how important Performing Arts is in education. We spent a little bit of every day of term 4 practising to fill an entertaining hour and a half with singing and dancing and silly skits and at the end of the show we all shared a typical country supper of sponge cakes and lamingtons and Santa came and gave everyone, including the teacher, a present. If I remember correctly, the highlight of that year's concert was a cheer leading rendition of 'Hey Micky'.

Not long after I left, the school numbers were judged financially unviable. The school closed and the Woorndoo kids started bussing to Lake Bolac or Mortlake. I was sad that my own kids just missed the opportunity to experience schooling in this unique setting.

I still love teaching but it's much harder work than it was then. The simple 5 columns of accounting have been replaced by thousands of order books and audited receipts in triplicate. The curriculum has become jammed with everything that every organization in the country thinks children should know. There are rules about rules and protocols and meetings to discuss the protocols, and acronyms - oh, the acronyms! Good manners definitely aren't as prolific as they used to be. Despite 30 years of experience and a Masters of Education under my belt, parents are less trusting of my ability to know best about the educational needs of their children. Unlike the village raising approach at Woorndoo, sometimes it feels like we are on opposing sides of a tug of war.

And we aren't allowed to climb trees anymore :-(

With apologies to anyone I've forgotten or mistaken for a different sibling!